The Gentleman Downstairs and Other Satanic Parables and Fables

The Gentleman Downstairs

Neighbors thought the gentleman downstairs was cultivated and distinguished, though mysterious and odd. His dress was from another period. His comings and goings were, if not erratic, definitely unscheduled. He had been a fixture in the neighborhood for as long as anyone could remember.

Although generally reclusive, the gentleman threw parties. Passersby whispered that the gatherings were extravagant and indulgent. Rumors of good food and drink circulated, as well as more decadent pursuits.

One neighbor never found time for the gentleman or his parties. He was always rushing from one obligation to another. He brushed off the gentleman’s open invitations. The neighbor wasn’t sure he’d be comfortable there. He might not know anybody. He wasn’t sure what went on at the occasions or whether he’d like them. He told neighbors that he’d “attend one soon.” On nights when the parties took place, the man often ended up without plans. He found himself listening to the festivities from his open balcony.

One evening, the neighbor’s friend bumped into him in the hall.

“What are you doing now?” the friend asked the man. “You must come downstairs.”

The man could not concoct an excuse and followed her downstairs. The gentleman greeted them both when they knocked and entered his foyer. The man looked around at the intoxicating crowd, thrilled.

“Why, all my friends are here,” he remarked.

“Yes,” one of them replied. “What took you so long?”



“Life is the great indulgence – death, the great abstinence. Therefore, make the most of life – here and now!”

LaVey, Anton. The Satanic Bible. New York: Avon Books, 1969. Print.


One for You, One for Me