The Gentleman Downstairs and Other Satanic Parables and Fables

The System and the Man

A young man was caught burglarizing homes. When he was before the court, the judge asked him a series of questions.

“Who committed these crimes?” the judge asked.

“Society,” the young man replied. “The way in which it works prevents me from getting ahead.”

“But society is prevented from getting ahead because it needs to spend time dealing with you,” replied the judge. “So, who committed these crimes?”

“History,” the young man replied. “The pages of the past do not include me.”

“But now those pages contain your name, don’t they? The record of your arrest now appears there. Again, who committed these crimes?” the judge asked.

“The system,” the young man replied. “It does not recognize that it is broken.”

“What is broken,” replied the judge. “Are your thumbs.”

The judge demanded that the man’s punishment be commensurate with his crime. And so the burglar’s hands were broken at the thumbs.

The man healed but never again returned to taking from others. The pain reminded him throughout his life of the troubles that thievery brought him.



“Individuals are accountable for the consequences of their actions, not society, history, the ‘system’, or any other outside influence.”

Church of Satan. Five Point Plan. 1988. Web.


Invasive Exotics